Life Goes On…
Yeah…it’s been a little while since I’ve posted anything. I’ve sat on the update page a couple times, but just haven’t been able to write. I hate it when I feel that there is so much that I should say, but my mind doesn’t allow me to retrieve everything.
My grandmother’s funeral was Tuesday. It was a very nice service. Unfortunantly most of grandma’s family was unable to come, as they too are struggling with their health. Grandma looked so peaceful. I suppose that’s what I focused on is that she left this life peacefully. It seems that she always battled against illnesses that would take her at any moment. I think she won those battles. It is unfortunant that the war to preserve life has an inevitable conclusion. My uncle, who was with her at the time, said that she departed very peacefully.
I spoke at the funeral. I knew it was something I needed to do, perhaps only for myself. It was my small public tribute to my grandmother who listened when no one else would, and contributed greatly to who I am today. I look forward to that giant frog leg festival that I will attend one day (those who were there will understand this).
I struggled with my grandmothers passing. In Colorado I knew that she didn’t have much time. I mourned for her then. When I found out that she had left us, the morning after I returned to Virginia, my heart ached but I didn’t really mourn. This disturbed me for a bit. It wasn’t that I wasn’t grieving, it just wasn’t outward. My attending the funeral, speaking, and shedding some tears helped. The thing is though, I know all that was for me. Funerals are for those left behind. Dad had a song played at the close of the service, “When I Get to Where I’m Going” by Brad Paisley. Here are the lyrics…
When I Get Where I’m GoingWhen I get where I’m going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I’m gonna do
Is spread my wings and flyI’m gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it’s like
To ride a drop of rain
(Chorus:)
Yeah when I get where I’m going
There’ll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I’ll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I’m going
Don’t cry for me down here
I’m gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he’ll match me step for step
And I’ll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I’ll hug his neck
(Chorus)
So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can’t answer
So much work to do
But when I get where I’m going
And I see my maker’s face
I’ll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I’m going
There’ll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I’m going
Yeah when I get where I’m going
I think it was perfect. I’ve heard that song many times before, but now (obviously) it will always carry a special meaning to me.
I suppose that’s it for now. Got to hit the sack so I’m rested for the Cajun Festival tomorrow.
One response so far
Just read your post on the funeral and tears came to my eyes again as if the funeral was today. You have no idea how much your speech meant to me at the funeral. Grandma is proud of you and so am I. I am sure she is looking down upon us right now and is very greatful. Thanks for the post.
Also, I will get in my uniform again with the service coat and have Michele takes some pics. I will make sure you get them.
Love ya son and hope to see you again soon.
Love Dad