Thanks…
Today I went to church for the first time since returning from Colorado on the 14th. I can’t say that I enjoyed it, but can’t say that it was horrible either. It was certainly nothing like the church service I watched during breakfast (The Crystal Cathedral). Their (the television service) final song of “Battle Hymn of the Republic” moved me to tears with the boy scouts and girl scouts marching into the room with flags, and then a large flag being raised into the tall ceiling. It was quite beautiful and moving.
It was fast and testimony meeting today. I ate breakfast. I forgot that it was Fast Sunday, but even if I had remembered, I probably would have eaten anyway. It’s always interesting to hear the testimonies of the people who get up. The strings of “I know ____ is true” now have me wondering, can anyone really know that something unseen is true??
I haven’t discussed openly my true feelings about religion. I know that I’ve, in the past as a missionary for the LDS Church, mentioned how I knew that such and such was true because such and such experience. However, now I feel as though I can’t rely on those experiences. I need to be true to what I believe, day in and day out, without having to feel the need to conform to the doctrines and dogmas of others. I need to find my Natural Religion. Even while as a missionary, I have questioned what I truly believe. Below is a rough sketch of what I’ve found…
1. I believe that mankind is unable to comprehend the exact nature, disposition, and purpose of God in mortality. There can be no human authority to which man ought to be accountable for his religious ideas. I accept my own inability to comprehend the designs of God and will continually seek to increase my understanding throughout my life. I reserve the right to change my beliefs as my understanding changes.
2. I believe in One Supreme, Intelligent and Transcendent Reality called God.
3. I believe that salvation will come to all mankind, in one degree or another, through the love and mercy of God which is manifested in Jesus Christ, an example for all mankind.
4. I believe Jesus Christ was fully a man who taught principles of love, compassion, mercy, charity, and forgivess. Because of his ability to love all mankind, Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit and thus had the ability to perform miracles beneficial to his fellow man. He can be the Messiah of the Messianic Age, and King in the Kingdom of God, if mankind will follow his teachings and love all people.
5. I believe that most of the destruction and misery in the world is born of man’s inability to love. If God expects anything from us, surely it is that we love one another as ourselves, as Jesus Christ taught by word and example.
6. I believe that men are responsible for their own actions within the limits of their individual consciousness, beliefs, abilities, and opportunities; however all are responsible in opposing harmful human intentions. A person may become a Spirit filled agent of God, and true disciple of Christ, by loving all people, and seeking to bring peace and happiness, The Messianic Age and Kingdom of God, to their life and the lives of others.
7. I believe that as all men are given life by God, men must trust God for life after mortality.
Like I mentioned, it’s a rough sketch to just give you an idea of my thoughts concerning God. I am a Christian, in as much as I try to live the teachings of Jesus Christ.
For some time now, I’ve considered myself to be a Unitarian Universalist Christian. While I technically am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (for now), I just don’t feel that it is the place for me. As I have searched for what I truly believe, I find too much in the LDS Church that I either disagree with or is, I feel, irrelevant.
For me, I feel that God would be more pleased with one who is always learning and adapting to what they know and feel, and even changing their religious opinions to fit; than with one who finds something they can agree with at that time and builds a wall to keep it safe, never stepping out to consider what they’ve secured may not be the best solution for them.
Anyway, enough with my theological rambling. Things are otherwise going fine for me. I hope to be invited to a couple of interviews with two elementary schools this week. I really want the Data Support Specialist position. I think it would be perfect.
On another note: Got Apache and PHP running on my system, so now I’m learning PHP. Pretty cool stuff. Hope to implement some of it on my site soon.
Until next time…. - Joel
4 responses so far
Joel, There is nothing wrong with questioning your religion or your beliefs..God gave us a brain, afterall, and would certainly want us to use it! Life is a learning process and the thirst for knowledge is in all of us. Have a great 4th of July. Kathi
Sorry we didn’t get together before I left Colorado. I did try. Thanks for the post and have a happy 4th!
I came across your blog and followed some posts regarding “mormonism” and “non-mormonism” in your category list. In one post you wrote some of your beliefs you have now as not practicing the LDS religion. I just have to disagree that God would want someone to change religion as they change as a person through time. God does not provide hundreds of religions for people to simply pick from as they see fitting for their life at that time. I’m not meaning to be rude, I just disagree.
Mostly, I just wanted to comment to say that I am so strangely curious as to how in just a few weeks from being home from your LDS mission, you fell away from the church. I can only conclude that you were already feeling such things while on your mission, which is so unfortunate. I’m really impressed by your earlier entries of spiritual witnesses and experiences in your life. I can only guess that you, like many others, got wrapped up in the nitty gritty. (Best word I can come up with right now, sorry) It seems you played your feelings of faith off to be unsubstantial because they are just that, faith and beliefs, not “reality” in your mind. Don’t play them off, they are real! I can see in some of your recent posts that those early experiences are still in your mind. I have to say that I really respect you for that. Remember, some of the early leaders of the church fell away, but they never denied the truthfullness of what they saw and knew to be true. I hope you will always carry your previous feelings with you and remember those things to be good. It is ok for people to disagree with my LDS faith, but some choose to bash on it after they leave. I just want to say thank you. From the few posts I skimmed over, I did not see you bash my beliefs this way. Thank you for being respectful.
Curious,
You’re absolutely correct about me making the decision to leave the church while I was on my mission. It takes a bit of reading, but I do think I describe the difficulties of this in a few posts.
I agree with you about God not wanting someone to change religion as they change as a person, but I disagree with the premise of the statement. I don’t think that God cares about religion at all. Any religion is a man-made institution that attempts to define God, the afterlife, spirituality, etc. I believe that God transcends these institutions. That being said, if a person feels they need to change religion because they have changed, it is very justifiable and in no way harmful to one’s relationship to God or spirituality. I think people ought to worship in any manner they are comfortable with.
It is often said that God is in the details; the “nitty gritty” of things. While I don’t consider this phrase a litmus test of the validity of a religion, I did find that even though once believe that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the true church, I found that God was very much lacking in the details. Faith can not trump details. Knowledge should never be counted as being non useful in order to preserve faith. The questioning person who attempts to shelve their concerns in an attempt to salvage their religion will only one day have the weight of these concerns come crashing in on them, obliterating the foundation of faith they have worked so hard to establish. In an instant, the world as they know it is over, the truth as they defined it is false, and they must start anew. This was my experience. As more time passes, the less room for reasonable doubt there will be for any argument that the church is true. The evidence is overwhelming to the contrary of the claims of Mormonism, and the rebuttal is severely lacking.
Remember, even the early leaders had reputations to keep even though they left the church. To deny their witness that they had already given would have been to call their honesty into question.
I respect the faith of all people, including the faith of those who believe in Mormonism. Thank you for commenting.