Soapbox: Respect in religious discourse
“On my mission…”I shudder when I hear a returned missionary slip in their experiences as one of God’s army starting with, “On my mission…” Every now and then, this introductory phrase, which seems to carry so much weight, slips from my tongue. I try very hard to say things like, “While I was in Colorado…” instead. It’s a small, perhaps insignificant thing. However, I think it’s safe to open the following using it.
On my mission, I learned how to have respectful religious discourse.
Seriously, as a missionary, I learned how ineffective and hurtful a discussion about religion can be if that discussion lacks respect. Unfortunately, not everybody picks up on this understanding, whether they’ve served missions or not.
Recently, a good friend e-mailed me asking if I had left an anonymous comment in response to a post she wrote regarding her belief in The Book of Mormon and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in which the commenter was very disrespectful. I responded by assuring her that I always sign my comments, and that I would never bash her beliefs, no matter how different they are from mine.
The level of disrespect caused my friend to lock down her blog to where only those she invites can read it. This is sad because I feel one of the purposes of a blog is to be a public expression of a person’s thoughts and opinions.
With so many different feelings about religion, the only way we can learn from one another is to be respectful in our conversations. Most of the problems are rooted in the unfortunate idea that we don’t have anything to learn from another person’s beliefs. This idea causes a block in meaningful communication. I’ve seen the results of this many times. Often missionaries close their ears when someone not of their faith is talking about their beliefs. It’s like talking to a wall. The missionary walks away having learned little, and the person is left feeling like they weren’t being listened to.
We need to break down walls that keep us from growing in knowledge and understanding. I don’t know why people maintain these walls. I suppose they are either afraid or disinterested. If you want to maintain this wall, don’t have religious conversations with people. It’s disrespectful to talk to someone and not actually listen to what they have to say. Insulting someone based on their beliefs, or belittling their beliefs is wrong.
So, have some respect. Try to learn what the other person believes, and why. Freely share about your beliefs. The conversation will break down when someone becomes defensive. At that point, it’s probably best to back off and switch to another conversation. If the point of the conversation is to debate, do so with mutual respect.
As far as blogs go, hit and run anonymous comments bashing someone’s religious are, as the old mission guide would say, “less effective”. Don’t do it. If you want to say something, say it as yourself, and let the person respond.
As a side note, I have friends, who have blogs, who come from various walks of life and religions. Please don’t use my blog as a launching pad to other blogs to be disrespectful.
Join the conversation. Don’t ruin it.
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